This week's article by Catholic teacher, Michael Bennett, looks at the importance of being a friend to young people. Photo: A Salesian summer camp in 2015

For nine years I was fortunate enough to serve the community of Bootle in Savio Salesian College. From the moment I was appointed, I knew I had found my spiritual home amongst the Salesian family. I was doubly lucky: not only had I landed in a Salesian school; I was also found a home in the Salesian Parish of St James. Simply more than I deserved. My experiences within the Salesian family eventually lead me to the Lasallian tradition, where I currently serve. The links between these two great teaching orders are clear, and the charism is many respects is identical. Indeed, I am told that Don Bosco sought support from the Lasallian Brothers in the art of pedagogy for his new order of teachers. This makes sense, since St John Baptitse de la Salle's The Conduct of Christian Schools is the blueprint for modern teacher education, and the Lasallians are commonly regarded as the founders of Catholic education. Both these orders have brought much to the table. Yet, for me, it is the gentle nature of friendship, especially befriending the young: that is their remarkable contribution to the field of education.

In the Gospel of St John, we are told by Jesus that we are his friends:

My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.

John 15: 12-15

Profound words indeed, and words that I feel lie at the heart of the mission of all who teach. When I was in Year 8 at school, we had a new PE teacher. He was tall, athletic and young. One of the boys in my class greeted him in typical scouse manner 'Alright mate!' ('Alright' meaning 'Hello'). This powerful young man screamed back at the top of his voice 'Get in line, I am no friend of yours!' It was actually a terrifying experience. From that day until the day I left school, I did everything I could to win favour with this adult, yet he was distant and cold. This does not make him a bad person, it just shows that he may not have had the formation that I have had. Yet it does throw up the question od how we form relationships.

We are lucky in the Catholic tradition that we need not look far for our inspiration and formation in this area. De la Salle assures us that "We can perform miracles when we touch the hearts of those in our care," - what I have called in a previous article the 'Dim Sum' approach. To truly reach a student is to touch their heart. This may my done with a kind word, a smile, an extra-curricular activity, a well-planned lesson! Whenever we touch the heart in any of these ways and beyond, we are befriending the young.

Don Bosco teaches us that "In every young person, a point of goodness is accessible, and it is the primary duty of the educator to discover that sensitive cord of the heart so as to draw out the best in the young person." The only meaningful way to discover 'the sensitive cord of the heart' is to first touch the heart! And this is done through friendship.

Of course, friendship can take many forms, and many of my friends are wise enough to 'tell me straight', so I do not want to confuse friendship with over sentimentality. At the heart of the matter is the belief that all young people are worthy of our friendship. This is the crux: young people, with all the issues and angst that they bring to school each and every day are worthy of our friendship. Friendship demands that we accept the whole person 'warts and all'. To educate through friendship is to enter into a journey of the heart that wills and wants the very best for the individual, that forgivers and forgets, delights in the good and rides the rocky patches with loving kindness.

In his most recent work the 'Universal Christ', Fr Richard Rohr teaches that that one constant in the universe is light. Even when what the eye perceives as total darkness, is in fact full of light. Light is the illuminator. Light allows all things to be see as they truly are. Jesus Christ is described as the light of the world. When we look at each other and our pupils through the eyes of Christ, we will see them as our friends. Friends in the process of learning, friends through the mission of our founders, friends made in the image of the God who brings light. In the times when I have fallen into dialogue which has had me start thinking about individuals or even classes in negative terms, I have always had to pull back to the belief that my mission and vocation is to see the good in all young people, and to win their trust and friendship through a loving kindness that builds bridges, wins hearts and minds, and will ultimately move mountains.

When we treat young people with friendship, we are no longer the master and they the servant! We are co-creators in the journey of education that will lead to illumination. Of the many blessings I have received from the Salesian and Lasallian traditions, the greatest has been Amicitia et pax – to educate through friendship and peace.

Michael Bennett