• High Contrast Mode
  • Text Size: Reset +
  • Translate:

"Our Lord has written the promise of resurrection, not in books alone, but in every leaf in springtime." – Martin Luther King Jr.

At this special time of year, we have books to inspire and delight you. Accompany your little ones 'On the Road to Emmaus' or through 'Via Lucis: The Way of the Light'. Or perhaps, reflect with Fr Michael on the Gospel resurrection narratives in 'Alive'.

Family & Friends at Christmas

Family & Friends at Christmas

Posted: Thu, 16 Dec 2021 12:20

Family & Friends at Christmas

The family - that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape, nor, in our inmost hearts, ever quite wish to.
(Dodie Smith)

It is said that Dodie Smith was moved to write her popular children's novel 'One Hundred and One Dalmatians' when a friend commented, on seeing Dodie's own pet Dalmatians that "they would make fantastic fur coats!" You may have seen the 1961 Disney cartoon based on her book. The central human characters, Roger and Anita meet through their dogs and, after they marry, their dogs have a litter of fifteen puppies. Into this happy family come the evil villain of the piece, the delightfully named 'Cruella da Vile' who kidnaps the pups along with various others with the intention of making herself a fur coat.

As you would expect Smith offers her readers a happy ending. All the animals are rescued and, through the winter snow, make their way back to London where Roger and Anita are attempting to celebrate Christmas and his first big hit, a song about Cruella. They deeply miss their pets, but they hear barking outside and the house is filled with dogs after their maid opens the door to realize their pets have returned home with 84 extra puppies for a total of 101 pets. They decide to keep all the puppies and use the money from Roger's song to buy a larger house in the country so they can all live happy ever after.

As we approach the great feast of Christmas, I suspect that we will be spending some of our holiday time watching feel-good Christmas movies to get us into the mood. There are even TV stations dedicated solely to showing Christmas family movies all day long. Whatever the rules and regulations that you are living under due to COVID-19 protocols, I pray that you can spend some quality time with your family and friends. Even though this Christmas will have to be different, we still crave and need that social time with those we love; with Smith, you want to have those octopus-like tentacles wrapped around you. Due to the way that this pandemic is spread, close physical contact can literally be the touch of death. This our natural inclination to hug and share a Christmas kiss, have to be ignored this year as we see our responsibility to keep the vulnerable safe.

If those hugs have to continue to be 'virtual' this year, it does not mean that connection is diminished. The irony of this year is our realisation that we have never been so connected. Last year, I watched the ever popular 'LATE, LATE TOY SHOW' on RTE, the Irish public service broadcaster. It was lovely to see a young Dublin girl sing 'Rule the World' from the Dublin studio. As she sang, she was joined by global choir of children, singing live from locations at diverse as Times Square New York, and Mandela Square in Johannesburg. Children from across the world were united through the gift of music, song, and the power of global communications, joined by one of writers, Gary Barlow himself.

Christmas is the family holiday par excellence; in our Northern hemisphere we celebrate with food, lights, gifts, and family—time in the midst of winter. While many people choose to ignore the religious elements of the feast, they gleefully enjoy the secular feasting, as they tuck into their Yule log and mince pies. That first Christmas was the epitome of simplicity as that simple family unit of Mary, Joseph and their infant, Jesus shared their gift of light and new life with the poor and vulnerable. Hospitality was offered to the shepherds even in the poverty of a Bethlehem stable-this was as true hospitality as the shepherds had no real home to welcome the Holy Family into. Christmas 2021 will certainly be different to last year—the availability of and positive uptake of the vaccine will help us greatly to spend more time with family and friends. However, we are not out of the woods: this virus is so totally different to anything we have seen before. We still need to take precautions, and it saddens me to see people refusing to wear masks and keep their distance in social places. Militant anti-Vaxxers should look deeply into their hearts and realise that their refusal to take the life-saving vaccination not only threatens their lives, but the lives of others. It is in this community spirit, aware of the common good, that Pope Francis has begged us to take the vaccination. It saddens me to see clergy taking their stand as a badge of honour—their cry of 'my body, my choice!', suddenly rings very hollow in the abortion debate.

I invite you to take time to reflect on those who have been there for you in these times. In crisis, you soon realise who they are and the sacrifices they have made for you-they are the 'keepers' and the special ones. I hope that the tragic events of this past twenty months have enabled you to spend quality time with your family making banana bread and doing the Joe Wicks' workout together. It has been wonderful to see how this pandemic has actually brought people together. However, for some families this close proximity only brought problems, abuse and hurt. As a Church we have to be aware of the trauma that so many of our community have been through. Our parishes and schools can offer a great ministry of healing and support to families over these next few months and years. We have had to find new ways of reaching out, especially being able to utilise the full potential of social media. In this Christmas time, we need to see beyond the cosy and sometimes, crass, presentation of the 'Hallmark ideal Christmas.' We realise that our family and friends are not perfect: we might have that uncle who drinks too much, the teenager who slams the door too hard, as they have yet another row about curfew time, the youngest sibling who we feel is spoilt rotten! However, for better or worse, they are family.

Christmas is that wonderful time when see just how important your family are; you can also realise that special friends are just like family and so can be 'adopted' into your own family circle. Thank God for those friends who are there for you and who you probably might not be able to meet up with this Christmas. As we enter 2022 with new hope and energy, we can look forward to a year that will make a difference, especially in our wellbeing and mental health. John O'Donohue speaks of the importance of friendship in our lives; in Celtic spirituality, the 'anam cara' is the true soul mate who understands you and walks with you in the good time and, more importantly, is with you in the bad. We can share compassion, understanding and care as he reflects:

One of the tasks of true friendship is to listen compassionately and creatively to the hidden silences. Often secrets are not revealed in words, they lie concealed in the silence between the words or in the depth of what is unsayable between two people. (Anam Cara)

One of the greatest gifts you can offer this Christmas is the gift of really listening to loved ones—either in person or online. What about even writing a letter or card just to tell them how much they mean to you-I dare you to try it! Never fear the silence because these are special times; in the silence you can find deep meaning and perhaps even find your voice to say what you really mean, as we can be so polite at times! The Irish have a lovely saying, 'a stranger is the friend you have yet to meet!' As we approach Christmas, we are conscious of the gifts that our friends and families bring us—gifts that cannot be neatly wrapped up or sent via Amazon. When we lose loved ones, especially to tragedy, we feel our very life is ripped from us—we lose part of ourselves with them. In coming to the end of another pandemic year, we are invited to look back on this year and remember those we have lost, especially to COVID. To remember those key workers in the NHS, Social Services, schools, voluntary agencies, and parishes-those who have made a difference and entered our lives just when we needed them. Once again O'Donohue reflects:

Your beloved and your friends were once strangers. Somehow at a particular time, they came from the distance toward your life. Their arrival seemed so accidental and contingent. Now your life is unimaginable without them. Similarly, your identity and vision are composed of a certain constellation of ideas and feelings that surfaced from the depths of the distance within you. To lose these now would be to lose yourself. (Anam Cara)

In the simplicity and gentleness of a good Christmas 2021, I wish you well. Appreciate those who have given up so much to protect you and to give you the Christmas you deserve. Thank God for family and friends who have become family. As the poet, André Mauroi reminds us, these are the ones who give us true warmth in a world that can be harsh and cold. Be that warmth to those you love today:

Without a family, man, alone in the world, trembles with the cold.

Written by Fr Gerry O'Shaughnessy SDB

Image by krakenimages on Unsplash

Tags: Christmas, Homepage, Reflection, Salesians of Don Bosco