I was deeply impressed by a homily given by one of my confrere, Fr Tony Fernandes SDB: in the context of the gift of the Holy Family, he spoke of the reality of broken relationships. He spoke graphically of how some may present themselves 'as an Angel outside, but Herod within!' That phrase stuck with me as I realised that there is a truth there for all of us. We can all wear masks when it is convenient—we can appear lively and so pleasant when we need to be in front of others. Once inside the home, with no one to impress, our filters can come down and our family see the reality of our true personality. One would hope that the persona we show to the world would be fairly similar to our real personality. However, for some, there will be a wide gulf: they may present as the sweetest of angels, while, at home, they follow the cruel traits of the wicked King Herod. At the extreme end of this spectrum, we have, sadly, witnessed those evil family members who have taken the lives of loved ones. However, there are others who make life so difficult for those at home. Their over-controlling power leads to failure and deep hurt, as relationships are broken down. All the while they present a picture of normality, honesty, and a deep faith, so often seen in church and making ostentatious displays of faith. Jesus was so well aware of these religious hypocrites that can be seen in the parable of 'the Pharisee and Tax Collector' (see Lk 18:9-14). The Pharisee, in his very public prayer, is keen to make everyone, especially the despised public sinner, aware of his achievements. In this synagogue he wants to list off his wonderful achievements. His contempt for the tax collector is all too obvious—he is the smiling assassin and the face of evil we must fear. On the other hand, the sinner can only pray a prayer of mercy: 'have mercy on me, a sinner!' In his honesty and humility, it's the tax collector who returns home at right with God. We need these parables to help us see the beauty of the Gospel. Each of us can use that God-given gift of imagination to create new parables and move forward, building bridges instead of walls. I was so lucky to have a wonderful scripture teacher, Dr Megan McKenna. She constantly reminded us that 'every story is true and some of them actually happened!' Rediscover your sense of story, and see the truth that each one contains!

Once upon a time, in a land not so far away there lived a princess called Anna. Her family fell on hard times and were forced to leave their beautiful palace and move to the heart of the old city. In these new and cramped living conditions, Anna had a tiny plot of land where she could grow flowers that would brighten her drab life. She really enjoyed caring for this little garden as it brought her so much happiness—she felt part of the creative energy of God. In this city, in a grand palace, lived Prince Victor who saw himself as the saviour of Anna—if only she would marry him, she could have anything she wanted. On the face of it was a marriage made in heaven—he was handsome, wealthy, and charming. He spoke very eloquently and was always seen in church, rosary beads in hand and reading the scriptures. Everyone expected that Anna would be swept off her feet by his wonderful public signs of affection, but she saw that it was just a show. Victor was not really interested in her as another human being—she would bring his heirs into the world. She quickly saw that he was just going to use her, and that any future marriage would not be the true union of heart and soul, envisioned by God. He was a pure alpha male, and underneath his meek exterior, lay a narcissist only interested in his own advancement. He loved having pictures taken of himself that showed what a noble prince he was. He loved to hear his subjects say to each other just how wonderful their prince was, and just how lucky they were to live in his kingdom. Anna realised that she would rather live in poverty than to be married to a man, no matter how rich, who would not treat her as an equal, and would only break her heart.

Victor constantly asked for her hand, and, with equal determination, Anna refused. She wanted to marry someone who she could give heart fully. Her refusal angered the prince who was always used to getting his own way—how dare she refuse him! Did she not realise what a fantastic catch he was? He certainly thought he was! He was determined to show her how powerful he was! Can you imagine her horror when she came down one morning to find her garden ruined? Someone had come in during the night and deliberately stood on her beautiful fuchsias, and you did not a degree in criminology to realise that the culprit was Prince Victor himself. This prize example of passive aggression made the beautiful Princess realise she had made the right choice. If this is how he could treat something as simple as flowers, how would he treat others? How would he treat a possible family, if he genuinely believed that the sun revolved around him?

Thankfully, Victor does not represent the mass of humanity. His selfishness and bitterness is not typical of a human family who really just want the best for others. As a global community we are noted for our care for others: only the other night the parish received a donation that will enable us to move forward, especially supporting those who have so little. Everyday food donations are made to help the food bank we support. Even in the middle of lockdown, possible war, and a global pandemic, that totally transformed our way of work, education, leisure, and worship, brave souls came forward to offer support and sustenance. If the world was full of Prince Victor's, then nothing would be done—we would not experience kindness and goodness that, thankfully, we do see all around us.

Please allow the Princess to influence your lives: choose to plant, nurture and tend the qualities you see in others. Evil ones can come forward with the intention to destroy and belittle others. In my experience the evil ones are not the typical panto-style villains that are all too obvious. That sort of evil is actually easier to deal with: we can see it coming. We have to be so careful as evil can come into our lives wrapped up in smile and warm words—then, with no warning, evil attacks. This type of evil hurts so much because it can be perpetrated by someone you trust. In the trauma of aftermath, it is though you are totally winded, and you feel so broken—the boot of Victor has come into your life and stomped you down like the lovely flowers. You feel worthless and empty, asking the question, 'why?' However, the biggest emotion is one of betrayal and hurt—you know your 'Prince Victor' and you have trusted them. It is then, more than ever, that you need the care of the Anna's in this world. They will build you up and help pick up the broken pieces of your life. You might never be the same again, but that brokenness can actually let the light through. Just as Anna tended the beautiful fuchsias, allow the caring ones to tend to you. If you give up, you allow the wickedness of Victor to conquer, and the world becomes that bit darker. Instead, the light of Anna must shine brightly through, as you endure the pain of the trauma and shar. in some little way in the mystery of the paschal mystery. So, when life feels too hard and the world feels hopeless, take heart. The best gift you can give everyone around you is your own gift of light. You need to be true to who you want to be, to love. Take heart because what is inside is the most powerful force in the universe. Call it light, call it potential, call it whatever feels right to you. Marianne Williamson gives us a good way to move forward in a way that would make Princess Anna so happy: up.

'You playing small doesn't serve the world. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so others won't feel insecure around you. As you let your own light shine, you indirectly give others permission to do the same.'

Author: Fr Gerry O'Shaughnessy SDB
Photo by Katrina Wright on Unsplash